So last week I had to face the fact that, husband or not, I would have to put the decorations up and get into the Christmas spirit for the baby, Hector. I needed them out the loft and there is no way a short arse like me can get up there so I had to ask the neanderthal. When he next came round he took them down for me. The tree is really big and fiddly so I asked him if he could help me put it up because I couldn’t do it on my own. “Why can’t you do it on your own?” he says. D**k head!
Since he left I have to say that my family have really been amazing. I have always appreciated them but in this hour of need they have rallied around me and given me lots of support. I really feel for those single mums out there that have no family to rely on, or they live far away from them, because I honestly don’t know how I would manage without mine.
So at the weekend I went to see Father Christmas with my mum, brother and sister and nieces. (I had always thought that Hector’s first meeting with Santa would be one that both his parents were present at.) After the grotto it had been decided, by my mum and sister, that my sister and niece would come and help me put the tree up. My other brother also ended up coming to look after Hector while we worked because they are bezzies. I didn’t want all my nieces there as my house is tiny.
Letting them in was risky because I was worried that they would think I wasn’t coping. The house was a complete tip. There were toys, tissues, envelopes, odd socks and other random items littered all over the living and dining room floor; the kitchen was strewn with potatoes and Tescos carrier bags; in the bathroom the contents of the standing cabinet were scattered, mainly all my make up and a box of panty-liners, opened, and thrown everywhere. All this in addition to the usual clutter and crap that I never have the time, or the space, to sort out.
My seven year old niece looked the place up and down and asked:
“Is this why you didn’t want anyone else to come?”
“Yes” I admit, hanging my head in shame.
“I’ll do the living room.” she says.
I love my niece. She is a wise one, and she completely understands that my house will never be as clean and tidy as hers. My sister walks in and immediately takes action, clearing things away like a refreshing tornado. I really do think I’m coping very well but with working full-time some things take a back seat and running around cleaning up after the baby in the morning is one of them. I have found that Hector and I can get ready in a very civilized manner if I am not restricting him in his explorations. I would much rather he was happy throwing my panty-liners around than standing at his gate screaming to get in while I do my hair and make-up. What’s the point in that?
In no time at all we had the tree up, deccies and all. My sister and niece then went home to put theirs up and my brother stayed with me to have a drink and watch ‘I’m a celebrity’. Overall a very productive weekend.
One of my aunties said to me recently “You don’t need anyone when you have your family around you. You’ll mourn for a week.” Although I think it will take longer than a week to come to terms with the fact that my husband has abandoned me, I am starting to see what she meant. I can feel myself becoming stronger every day. I am completely exhausted, but strong. I have managed a lot in this short time as a single mother, including an inspection at work and applying for a new job. I am proud of myself. So, in order to celebrate, I have bought my self a fabulous frock, new shoes, bag and perfume for the Christmas do with work. Who knows – I may even try a little flirting! Now, how do you do that again? …..